Thursday, 11 August 2011

Give us this day our daily bread

(Give it to us daily huh huh huh huh

Give it to us daily huh huh huh huh

And all the girls say pretty nice for a white slice)

I like bread

Bread is the best thing since

Sliced bread

Say it with flour

Full of yeast and promise

All different sorts of bread

Farmhouse Split-Tin Cottage

One basic recipe and the miracle of the multiplying loaves

Feeding the 5,000 with fish sarnies

Bloomer Granary Wheatgerm

But basically it's all just bread

The ducks in the park will vouch for that

Well bred bread?

Or interbreeding

Into bread

By interkneading



Mini baguettes

Torpedoes Cobs Batches Baps

Crusty rolls

All fulfilling

With sandwich filling

The same roles

The United Flavours of Bread

Onion loaves

Walnut loaves

Bread filled with the fruit

Of olive groves

But essentially all bread flavoured

Bread of different colours

White and brown

And different nationalities

Chapati Nan Pitta Tortilla Focaccia Ciabatta Soda-Farl Coburg Unleavened Cholla Damper

Symbolic of diversity of colour and race

Sarcastic bread

Sardonic bread

Ironic bread

Rye bread

Loaves for toasting

Burnt toast is the new black

And it always falls on the buttered side

Hovis is the new brown

And mouldy bread is always greener on the other side

Savoury bread

And sweet bread

Croissants Crumpets Pykelets Muffins Scones

Eat your crusts, they’ll make your hair curly

A childhood memory

When young we always had home made freshly baked bread

The smell of nostalgia

From the oven of childhood yearning

Covered with the jam of bad metaphors

Thickly cut chunks

The doorstop challenge

One weekend my dad made saffron bread

Father’s Pride

Bright yellow

It tasted nice

Though glowed disconcertingly

At school on the Monday I opened my lunch box

And pulled out a

Big yellow sarnie

Don’t it always seem to go

That you don’t know what you’re got til its exposed to the wrath of the playground

“It's still just a sandwich”

I vainly said to the vicious mob

But they judged my bread on its colour

Nothing is more ruthless than a kid with an advantage and the support of the crowd

And the crowd pile down the sandwich shop

Who proclaim the latest fad bread

Making dough by making dough

Bagel shops rose overnight

The hole in the bread

Filled a gap in the market

Another way for cafes to earn their bread and butter

Last year was the year of the wrap

But is panini the new wrap?

Whatever, nothing can escape the fact that all of the above

When filled with meat and salad and cheese







Monday, 14 February 2011

The perfect man?

Made out of chocolate
Looks just like shoe shops
Eyes reflect money like
Gold coated dewdrops

Always stands tall and is
Never diminished
Gorge on his body then
Moan when he's finished

Friday, 11 February 2011

An Answer to Sonnet XVIII

Why compare to summer's storm
Of humid heat and sudden rains
When darling bud goes flat and warm
And stench is leased from city drains
The yellow eye burns ozone layers
This sunburn's giving me the ache
A cooling wind blows through our prayers
"She don't suit shorts for heaven's sake"
Will these clammy days not fade
Or showers drown and wash away
I cower hopeless in the shade
While most put flesh out on display
And though my passion burns like fire
You don't compare to summer's ire

Tuesday, 4 January 2011


Fuck you fuck you fuck
You fuck you fuck you fuck you
Fuck you fuck you fuck